


Under the Tree

by Rysler



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-18
Updated: 2011-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:44:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rysler/pseuds/Rysler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natalia and Olivia have agreed they're not quite ready for sex, but that doesn't mean there aren't other things they can do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Tree

Natalia had the presence of mind to grab a blanket on the way out of the farmhouse. Hopefully they wouldn't miss her. Olivia was helping Emma with math homework--theoretically--more like lecturing her on accounting and business.

Emma seemed into it. But the topic made Natalia sleepy. Or might have, if Olivia hadn't kept glancing with her with those--those eyes.

When Emma was particularly focused on an equation, Olivia would reach over and squeeze Natalia's hand.

When Olivia gave Natalia an air-kiss, just an upward purse of lips, Natalia had had enough. She hadn't invited Olivia over so that Olivia could torture her.

"I'm--I'm going to get some air," Natalia said.

"Okay," Olivia said.

Natalia glared at her.

Olivia had the grace to look chagrined.

Natalia escaped.

The afternoon air held the promising scents of flowers and rain. She breathed deeply. That helped.

They'd promised to take it slow. They'd promised that they didn't know what they were doing.

Natalia knew what she wanted to do.

All the sexual energy that they weren't supposed to have because they weren't like that, because it didn't just happen for women--it was torture. Natalia found it awkward and weird to pretend to just be friends when they were lovers.

Even thinking the word lovers made Natalia shiver.

She settled at the base of a tree that edged the lawn. Far away from the house to feel private, to feel surrounded only by nature and wind and God. She turned her face to the sun and closed her eyes.

Maybe with enough quiet reflection, she could make peace with her body.

She closed her eyes and there was Olivia, smiling at her, drawing into an embrace.

She opened her eyes and there was the perfect blue day. She leaned against the tree, letting the bark scratch her back. She wriggled and the roughness pulled at her shirt.

Olivia's hands might be rough. Or gentle. Olivia's intensity didn't often extend to her hands. She didn't use them that way, not the way she used her sharp tongue, her sometimes vicious mind. Her touches were always tender.

They always betrayed her.

Natalia spread the blanket around herself, bringing it up to her chin. This was better. Away from the madness. A breeze ruffled her hair and made her grateful for the blanket. She glanced back at the house. Totally silent.

Totally peaceful.

Her world was filled with light now. Even she could admit that. Whatever this was, whatever it meant, there was light.

When she thought of Frank, when she thought of her wedding say, the world became grayer. Chalkier.

Dark around the edges.

It made no sense. Not if she looked at scripture, or listened the people around her, or gave heed to her own attempts at logic. But if she had faith--if she took the decision out of her hands, and placed it in God's--then Olivia was there. Had been for a year, waiting for her to come to her senses.

She shouldn't have let her arrogance blind her.

She was pretty sure she didn't deserve the light, but there it was.

She might as well enjoy it. That's what Olivia would say.

It was hard to be pious when thinking of Olivia. Natalia could feel the heat coming with the merest thought. The warmth came from inside and spread outward.

"Oh God," she said, closing her eyes.

The universe didn't answer her one way or another. So she closed in on herself, making sure the blanket was around her shoulders, and let her hand crept from knee up to inner thigh.

This was going to be hard to stop if she got started.

How many times had she tried to explain to Olivia that she knew what she was doing when it came to this sort of thing?

Her hand trembled, but unzipping her jeans was easy. She glanced around. The birds and the squirrels hadn't noticed anything amiss. The blanket protected her.

And yet... doing this in the open. She could get in trouble any moment. This was completely unlike her. Everyone would say that.

She smiled.

She moved her hand into her jeans and found her own wetness waiting. What had made her so uncomfortable in the farmhouse seemed matter-of-fact here. She ached with desire and love and was blessedly all alone.

The seam of her jeans pressed against the back of her hand, the zipper thwarting her, but she strained and curled her fingers. If she pressed hard enough, she could find the perfect comfortable spot between flesh and denim. Two fingers parted already-swollen folds, pushed panties between them--she felt hedonistic, but this was so very necessary. She gasped and bit the inside of her cheek. She shouldn't look too obvious.

Her eyes closed. Her face was full of tension.

The blanket had to stay perfectly still as her hand moved underneath. Perfectly still. And if she kept her eyes closed, no one could see her. If she pressed, instead of stroked--but she had to stroke. She had to shift, to give herself more room.

She had to breathe in more of the warm summer air and it led to another accidental gasp.

"Hi."

"No," Natalia said. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"I thought I might find you here."

Olivia's voice was perfectly dry, betraying nothing. So Natalia had to look at her. She glowered and kept her hand still.

Olivia squatted, coming eye-level. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Nothing was never an answer that worked. So Natalia said, "Um. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Don't stop on my account," Olivia said.

Natalia bit her lip.

"Don't stop," Olivia said, her voice quiet.

Natalia looked at the sky, rocking her head back against the tree. There was no way she was going to rub anything in front of Olivia. Yet her body shivered with Olivia's request.

Her body betraying her was what this whole thing had been about. She shouldn't have indulged herself. Stupid body.

Body, mind, soul. Whatever.

"You're thinking of me, aren't you?" Olivia asked.

Natalia didn't look at her.

"I bring this out in you."

Natalia sighed. It wasn't rubbing if she shifted her hips. She said, "Yes. Yes, are you happy?"

"Mm."

Natalia gave in, just for a second, her whole body taut with the stroke, with the second, hoping Olivia couldn't see. Of course Olivia could see. Natalia should feel exposed, not comforted. Violated, not wanted.

"Natalia--"

"Quiet," Natalia said. "Please, Olivia. Or... I'll stop."

Then there was only silence. Only heat and the wetness and the increasing turmoil, making Natalia shake, making her breathing ragged. The weight of Olivia's silent gaze seemed to land on her breasts, on her fingers, on her thighs.

Still, Olivia didn't say a word.

As tension built, Natalia got bolder.

"Stay tonight," she said.

"But--"

"Or I'll stop," Natalia said.

She was panting so hard the last words had been difficult to speak. She wouldn't stop if her hand was on fire.

But Olivia stayed silent.

She was so close--

Then, Olivia's presence near her shoulder, followed by the breath across her ear. "Okay."

"Good!"

The orgasm took away her senses. She clenched, her mouth open, her head thrown back. Her hand pressed, steady and strong.

All that mattered was that Olivia was watching.

"Oh," Natalia breathed. "Oh, geez."

"Natalia." Olivia's voice was low and breathy.

"You, um. You need to go away now. Please?"

"All right."

"Just for a minute. I'll, um. I'll be right there."

"I'll be waiting for you."

Natalia exhaled sharply. Her whole body tensed at Olivia's words.

She could almost do it again.

* * *

"So, here we are," Olivia said, slipping into Natalia's bedroom.

They'd put Emma to bed in the room she thought of as her own. She'd claimed to be too old to be read stories, so they just told her stories instead. About Chicago, about Rafe, about Phillip. About them in the hospital, when Emma hadn't been there. And when Emma had fallen asleep, she had a smile on her face.

Olivia had lingered.

Natalia had gone to her own room. She lit the candles along the bureau, feeling foolish, but the light flickering and reflecting in the mirrors was enticing.

Settling.

Now, with Olivia meeting her eyes, the question hung unspoken between them. Olivia had a room of her own, too.

"I am--I'm not ready to have sex with you," Natalia said.

"Okay," Olivia said. She put her hand on the door knob.

"But--" Natalia reached out. She said, "I want you here."

Olivia nodded. "Let me change," she said.

Natalia stood, looking at the empty, half-open doorway, before she realized she should change, too.

By the time Olivia returned, Natalia had put on a sleeveless top and yoga pants. Possibly Olivia's yoga pants leftover from the move. She'd turned the covers down and was sitting in bed.

The pretense of reading would not work. She couldn't concentrate. She just waited.

Olivia closed the door and smiled.

Natalia felt such a jolt go through her that she regretted everything she'd said about sex. She opened her mouth to change her mind, but Olivia walked toward her, with important strides, in a dusky chemise that revealed hardened nipples and little satin shorts with lace at the legs.

Lace.

Rendered speechless, Natalia let Olivia slip into bed beside her and kiss her.

And kiss her.

Natalia loosely cradled Olivia's head, letting herself be kissed until her mouth was swollen and her lips were parted to release shallow, eager breaths.

Olivia thumbed Natalia's chin.

Natalia smiled.

"I love you," Olivia said.

Every time Olivia said the words, Natalia's heart beat faster.

"And since you aren't going to have sex with me..." Olivia retreated.

Natalia sat up, already feeling tousled. "Wait, what--"

Olivia leaned against the headboard. Her shoulder pressed Natalia's.

Olivia said, "I guess I'll have sex with myself."

Her hand disappeared into her shorts.

Natalia closed her eyes. Olivia's shoulder moved against hers in slow circles. Unfair, since Olivia was using her other hand. Deliberate provocation. Natalia didn't want to think about how many times Olivia had done this in front of men. How she had tempted them, seduced them... She wanted to block out the image, but Olivia's breathing, heavy and irregular, couldn't be blocked out.  
Natalia fought feelings of tawdriness. Of seediness. Of feeling common.

She opened her eyes.

Olivia's face had turned to her direction and Olivia was looking at her with expectant, open eyes. Full of insecurity. Natalia wondered if men had even seen that look. Understood it. She cupped Olivia's jaw in her hand, shifting to face her.

"Don't stop," she said.

"I won't."

Of course men had seen that look. Had exploited it. Had hurt Olivia, until she'd come to Natalia's bed like this, wiser and more cautious but still full of passion.

Natalia kissed her. Olivia broke away, panting, closing her eyes and leaving Natalia to watch. Natalia took in the beauty of it. She stroked the curve of Olivia's ear.

This is what Olivia had seen, out by the tree.

"Olivia, look at me," Natalia said.

"Can't."

Olivia's hand was moving rapidly but the rest of her was perfectly still. Her lip caught between her teeth.

"Please. Would you look at me?"

Olivia opened her eyes and Natalia leaned close, careful to keep Olivia in focus.

"Don't stop," Natalia said.

Olivia cried out. A sound so quiet, yet so piercing, that Natalia wanted to spend her life hearing it again and again. Then Olivia was trembling uncontrollably and Natalia was holding her, as tightly as possible, until Olivia's breath became easy against her neck and Olivia's grip on her elbow stopped digging quite so deeply.

"So embarrassing, right?" Natalia asked.

Olivia chuckled, her breath warm across Natalia's chest.

Natalia twisted until they were side by side again, so that Olivia could roll her head back and look at the ceiling.

Olivia said, "Okay. Okay, I think I'm done for tonight."

"You've accomplished so much."

"Don't get sarcastic." But Olivia reached over and took Natalia's hand.

Natalia intertwined their fingers.

"What about you?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, I'm good."

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled.

Natalia slipped out of bed to blow out the candles. When she returned, Olivia was recovered, sitting up, her eyes dark and carnal.

"Stay with me," Natalia said. Even though it was unnecessary, it felt nice to say.

"Always."

Natalia settled back into bed and said, "I'm not really tired. Can we at least get to second base?"

Olivia chuckled and kissed her, easing Natalia back onto the bed, until her hair splayed against the pillows. Then her hand cupped Natalia's breast.

Natalia shivered.

"Now, is this second base?" Olivia murmured. "Or this?"

Her hand slipped under Natalia's shirt, pressing her stomach, and then moving up to touch bare skin and hard nipple.

"That. That's definitely..."

"I think you're making up the rules, Natalia," Olivia said.

"I guess. I always cheat at baseball."

"That's okay with me."

Natalia pulled Olivia down for a kiss and then said, "You know, I think--"

"Hm?"

"I think second base involves your mouth."

* * *

"Wake up!" Emma catapulted into Natalia's room and onto the bed.

Olivia grunted.

Natalia yawned.

"You said you'd take me to the park, you know," Emma said.

"You're on a farm," Olivia said, covering her head with a pillow.

"It's not the same. I want monkey bars."

"She wants monkey bars," Natalia said.

Emma bounced on her knees and pushed at Natalia's back.

"She's your daughter," Natalia said.

"Oh no, no. She's ours now."

Natalia let out a sigh.

Olivia said, "If you go put on your shoes and socks, I will get up and make you breakfast."

"I already have my shoes and socks," Emma said.

Natalia sat up. "Then get off the bed!"

Emma grinned and retreated to the carpet.

"We'll have pancakes," Natalia said.

"Why don't you get started, 'Bean?" Olivia asked.

Emma fled.

Natalia flopped back down and rolled against Olivia, curving into the heat she found.

Olivia asked, "So, are we officially in a relationship now?"

"Just now?"

"Well, it's the first time our daughter caught us together in bed."

"Wait until she wants to sleep between us all night because she had a nightmare," Natalia said.

"That is not happening."

Natalia chuckled. "Sure it won't. You're so tough."

Olivia shifted until she was on her side and could wrap her arm around Natalia's chest. Natalia covered Olivia's hand with hers.

"There's never enough time," Olivia said.

"We'll have fun at the park."

"You'll have fun at the park. I have to go to work."

"What? That sucks. It's Saturday."

"It's a seven day a week operation. And someone's got to pay the bills."

"So I'm a kept woman."

Olivia nuzzled Natalia's shoulder. "If you want. Anything you want."

Natalia brought Olivia's hand up to her lips. She kissed Olivia's fingers.

Olivia closed her eyes.

"Unfortunately, we have to do things, Olivia."

"Mom!" Emma shouted from the kitchen.

"That's for you," Olivia said.

"You wish."

Olivia got to her knees and shook herself, cracking her back, stretching her neck. Natalia rolled onto her back and smiled.

"Hi," Olivia said.

"Hi yourself."

Olivia crawled over and kissed her, hard and eager. Natalia's arms went around her neck and Olivia settled against Natalia's body.

The response was almost immediate--heat rushing through her. Desire. Natalia's hand cupping the back of her neck. Lips sensuously moving against hers.

She turned her head, letting Natalia's lips worry her cheek, and said, "Now that I'm all hot and bothered--"

"Emma is not going to let us stay."

"I know."

Olivia reluctantly got up, letting her fingers linger on Natalia's jaw. The energy that crackled between them, that pooled inside Olivia, that would get her through the day.

She wasn't sure how she'd ever gotten through the day without it.

"Come have lunch with me," she said. "I'll just work through the morning and in the afternoon, maybe we can take Emma to a movie."

"A movie."

Olivia tugged Natalia to her feet.

Natalia hugged her, and murmured into her ear, "You know, Emma can see something about a princess, and you and I can find an empty theater."

"Natalia."

Natalia's hands slid down Olivia's back.

Olivia arched, and said, "Or, we can wait in the car..."

"I am not having sex in a car with you, Olivia."

"Will you hold hands with me?"

"Yes."

"Kiss me?"

"Maybe..."

Natalia's hands slid to Olivia's hips.

Olivia pulled away. "Oh, God. If we don't eat, I won't have the strength for this."

Natalia grinned and slipped past Olivia. "See you in a minute, then."

Olivia stood in the empty bedroom, aching, alone, looking at the tangle of bed sheets where they'd slept. Two creased pillows.

She smiled. For the first time since her new heart, Olivia felt like her old self again.

END


End file.
